If you've had therapy and still feel the same, it may be because understanding a feeling doesn't release it. Insight explains why you feel something. Letting go deals with the feeling itself. The letting go technique by Dr David Hawkins works in the here and now: you notice the feeling as bodily sensations, allow it, and let it run its course. No analysis of the past is needed.
You did the work. You went every week. You talked it through, you understood where it came from, and you can explain your patterns better than anyone.
And the feeling is still there.
The anxiety still hits in the same places. The anger still comes up with the same people. You know exactly why, and it doesn't seem to make any difference.
That doesn't mean you failed. And it doesn't mean therapy was wasted. It may mean you've reached the limit of what understanding can do.
Why understanding a feeling doesn't make it go
Insight is valuable. It can help you make sense of your life. But knowing why you feel something and no longer feeling it are two different things.
Trying to figure out why you feel a certain way can actually become a block. While insight can be helpful, it doesn't dissolve the emotion.
Dr David Hawkins puts the question simply. Do you want to understand why you feel the way you do, more than you desire peace?
Why talking about it can keep it going
Most of us deal with painful feelings in one of three ways.
Suppression. Pushing it down. It goes underground and comes out sideways.
Expression. Venting it, acting it out, or going over it again and again. It can feel cathartic, but expression reinforces the feeling. The energy behind it stays.
Escape. Distracting yourself from it. Anything to avoid being with what's there.
Talking about a feeling, week after week, can slip into expression. You revisit the story. You re-feel it. You leave lighter, and then it comes back.
How letting go is different
Letting go doesn't replace understanding. It works on a different level.
It's here and now. Letting go focuses on what you're experiencing in the present moment. If there is an unresolved issue from your past, the only time it can affect you is in the here and now. So that's where we work.
There's no analysis. You don't need to work out where the feeling came from. There is no requirement to understand why you feel what you feel.
There's no need to talk. Unless it's helpful. The work happens in the body, not in the story.
There are no labels. Feelings are labels. Sensations are experiences. "Anxiety" is a label. A knot in your stomach, tightness in your chest and tingling in your hands are what's actually being experienced. Those are what get let go of.
You lead. Think of it in terms of a comet. In therapy, the therapist is the head, and you are the tail. In letting go, you are the head. The coach gently supports.
What letting go looks like in practice
Next time the familiar feeling comes up, try this.
Notice the feeling as bodily sensations. Drop the story and the explanation. Where is it in the body? What does it actually feel like?
Allow it. Let go of any resistance to experiencing it. Let go of wanting it gone, wanting it to make sense, or judging yourself for still having it.
Let it run its course. Allowed, the feeling rises, peaks and falls away, like a note on a piano. Something lighter takes its place. If it comes back, there's more of it. Let that go too.
The thoughts will keep running. Let them, but don't engage with them. Thoughts are rationalisations of the feeling.
For the full technique step by step, read How to let go: the Letting Go technique by Dr David Hawkins explained.
Should I stop therapy to start letting go?
If you're currently in therapy, I recommend completing that process first. Otherwise, there's a risk of crediting your growth to therapy when it may be the result of your own letting go work. It's important to stay clear and committed during emotional integration.
Is letting go a substitute for therapy or medical treatment?
No. Letting go is not a clinical or therapeutic intervention. It's a spiritual and emotional process, and it isn't designed to treat mental illness. If you're in treatment, always consult your mental health provider.
Wondering whether letting go will work for you? Read does the letting go technique work?
Ready to learn how?
If you've understood your feelings for long enough and you're ready to start letting go of them, then you're ready for OUTSIDE help. I teach you how to let go in the moment, as life happens. Read my answers to the most frequently asked questions.
If you're interested in working with me, check out my letting go coaching services.
If you're ready to talk about how letting go can benefit your life and explore working with me, book a discovery call today to begin the journey towards freedom.
