Most books on letting go explain why holding on hurts and why letting go helps. Reading them can feel like progress, and it often is, because a clear idea of what you are trying to do makes the first attempts easier.
I have practised the letting go technique of Dr David Hawkins daily for 13 years and teach it in 1:1 coaching, so I have read many of the books recommended on the subject. Some of these books changed how I think about feelings, and one of them gave me the method I use every day.
This list covers ten books that come up again and again when people search for letting go, with a plain description of what each one offers and who it suits.
What makes a book on letting go worth reading?
A good book on letting go gives you a clear picture of what letting go is, speaks honestly about how hard it is to do in the middle of a real feeling, and leaves you with something you can use that same day. Books differ most in the last of these. Some give you a way of seeing, some give you comfort, and a few give you a method, so it helps to know which kind you are picking up.
Ten books on letting go
1. Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins
Hawkins was a psychiatrist and the author of Power vs. Force. Letting Go describes a mechanism for releasing feelings as they come up, and it works through the emotions in the order they appear on the Map of Consciousness, from apathy and grief through fear, desire, anger and pride, and on to courage, acceptance, love and peace.
The central instruction is to turn your attention to the feeling itself and leave the story your mind tells about it alone, so that the feeling can be allowed to run its course. Hawkins also describes how resistance keeps a feeling going, including the resistance that shows up toward the method itself, and those chapters are among the most useful in the book for anyone who has tried the technique and stalled.
It is the only book on this list centred on a technique for allowing feelings to run their course as they arise, and it is the method I teach. If you read it and found it hard to apply, I explain how to read it so that it works in Letting Go by Dr David Hawkins: how to actually do what the book describes, and I walk through the practice step by step in How to let go: the Letting Go technique by Dr David Hawkins explained.
2. The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
Singer describes the constant commentary of the mind and the part of you that is aware of it, which he calls the witness. A good part of the book explains how stored inner tension rises again and again, and how you can relax and release it when it does.
Readers who like the idea of becoming the observer of their own thoughts and feelings often start here, and the writing is clear and conversational. It suits anyone who wants a vivid picture of the observer before they begin to practise.
3. The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer
This is Singer's memoir. He describes a decision to stop resisting what life put in front of him and to say yes to whatever each day brought, followed by an unplanned chain of events over the decades that came after.
It reads as a story, so it suits readers who learn from watching another person put an idea into practice. It pairs naturally with The Untethered Soul, since both come from the same author.
4. The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Beattie, who also wrote Codependent No More, arranged this book as daily meditations, with one short reading for each day of the year. The readings come from the recovery world and deal with themes such as codependency, boundaries and looking after yourself.
A page takes a minute or two to read, so it suits readers who want a small daily habit and a gentle voice.
5. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Brach is a psychologist and meditation teacher, and the book draws on Buddhist teaching and mindfulness. She describes a belief that many people carry, that something is wrong with them, which she calls the trance of unworthiness, and she shows how meeting your own feelings with attention and kindness loosens its hold.
It suits readers who find that self-judgment is the thing they cannot let go of.
6. The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chödrön
Chödrön is a Buddhist nun and teacher. The book presents maitri, an unconditional friendliness toward yourself, as the way to meet pain, fear and difficult moods without turning away from them.
The chapters are short enough to read one at a time, and the tone is warm and direct. It suits readers who want a gentle introduction to Buddhist ideas about meeting hard feelings.
7. Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be by Lama Surya Das
Lama Surya Das is an American teacher of Tibetan Buddhism. The subtitle names the themes, which are lessons on change, loss and spiritual transformation, and the book looks at how fear, grief and anger arrive in the middle of a major change and at what a crisis can open up.
It suits readers who are in the middle of a big change, such as a loss, a move or the end of a role, and want a spiritual perspective on it.
8. Emotionally Free: Letting Go of the Past to Live in the Moment by David Viscott
Viscott was a psychiatrist who also became a well-known radio and television host. The subtitle gives the aim, which is letting go of the past to live in the moment, and the book takes the past on directly by looking at feelings left over from earlier events.
It suits readers whose search is specifically about letting go of what already happened.
9. This Is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe
This is a short book about letting go of a person. Priebe starts from the view that letting go of someone goes against our instincts, and she writes about what the process involves.
It suits readers who are letting go of a partner or a relationship. If that is your situation, my own post on letting go when you love someone covers why it is so hard and how to start.
10. The Art of Letting Go by Nick Trenton
Trenton's book belongs to a series called The Path to Calm, and its subtitle promises help with overthinking, negative spirals and emotional freedom. It is a practical self-help book that offers techniques for a busy mind.
It suits readers whose letting go problem shows up as thoughts that will not stop.
Which book on letting go should you start with?
If you want a method you can use the moment a feeling arrives, start with Hawkins. If you are drawn to the idea of watching your own thoughts, start with Singer's The Untethered Soul. If self-judgment is the sticking point, Brach is a natural choice. If you are letting go of a person, Priebe's book is written for that, and if it is the past you keep returning to, Viscott takes it on directly.
Hawkins also wrote Power vs. Force, and the framework behind Letting Go is explained in the Map of Consciousness explained, which is a useful read before or after the book.
Why reading about letting go is only the first step
Every book on this list can help you understand letting go. Putting it into practice happens in the body, in the moment a feeling arrives, and that is a different skill from understanding.
People tend to handle feelings in three ways: suppression, expression and escape. Letting go is the alternative to all three. You notice the feeling as a bodily sensation, allow it to be there without resisting it, and let it run its course. A word such as anxious or angry is a label, and the sensations are what you actually notice and allow.
The gap between reading and practising is where most people get stuck, and it is where 1:1 coaching helps. I guide you through the blocks as they come up, so you learn to let go in the moment, as life happens.
Frequently asked questions about books on letting go
What is the best book on letting go?
The best book depends on what you want from it. If you want a method to practise, Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by Dr David Hawkins is the one that teaches a technique. If you want a way of seeing your thoughts, The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer is a popular choice.
Which book on letting go is best for letting go of the past?
Emotionally Free: Letting Go of the Past to Live in the Moment by David Viscott is written on that theme. Hawkins' Letting Go applies to any feeling, including the ones that keep pulling you back to the past.
Is there a book on letting go of someone you love?
This Is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe is written about letting go of a person. My post on letting go when you love someone covers the same ground from the perspective of the Hawkins technique.
Can a book teach me to let go?
A book can explain letting go and describe a method. Learning to do it comes from practising with your own feelings as they arise, and many people find guidance helps with that.
Do I need to read Power vs. Force before Letting Go?
No. Letting Go can be read on its own. Power vs. Force explains the Map of Consciousness, which gives useful background to the order of the chapters.
Ready to learn how?
A book can show you what letting go is, and the next step is learning to do it with your own feelings.
I teach you how to let go in the moment, as life happens. Read my answers to the most frequently asked questions.
If you're interested in working with me, check out my letting go coaching services.
If you're ready to talk about how letting go can benefit your life and explore working with me, book a discovery call today to begin the journey towards freedom.
