People talk about letting go of the past, anger, a person or control, and the phrase is rarely explained. Most of us are told to do it without being shown what it involves, so the words stay vague and the feeling stays where it is. This post gives a clear meaning of letting go, drawn from the teaching of Dr David Hawkins and from my 13 years of practising his technique, and then shows what it looks like in everyday life.
What does letting go mean?
Letting go means noticing a feeling, allowing it to be there without trying to change it, and letting it run its course. Dr David Hawkins describes it as staying aware of a feeling as it arises, and giving up any wish to make it different or to do something about it. He uses the words letting go and surrender to mean the same thing, which is why his method is also called the mechanism of surrender.
What is being let go of?
Every phrase people use for letting go points to a feeling. Letting go of the past means releasing the grief, regret or shame that still comes up when a memory arrives. Letting go of a person means releasing the longing, hurt or anger attached to them. Letting go of control means releasing the fear that sits underneath the need to control. In each case, the thing being held on to is a feeling, and the feeling is what gets released.
What happens in the body when you let go
A feeling is a bodily sensation. Words such as anger, grief and fear are labels the mind attaches to sensations, and the sensation is the part you can notice directly: tightness in the chest, heat in the face, a knot in the stomach. Letting go starts with turning your attention to that sensation and allowing it to be there. Hawkins explains that resistance keeps a feeling going, so when you stop resisting, the energy behind the feeling dissipates and the feeling shifts to something lighter.
The three ways people usually handle feelings
Before people learn to let go, they tend to handle a feeling in one of three ways. Suppression pushes the feeling down and holds it there. Expression vents the feeling or acts it out on someone or something. Escape moves attention elsewhere through distraction, work, food, screens or substances. Each of these approaches moves away from the direct experience of a feeling. Hawkins also teaches that suppressed feelings accumulate over a lifetime. My post on repressed emotions explains how that build-up shows up in the body and in behaviour. Letting go works differently: the feeling is given room to be exactly as it is while it runs its course.
What letting go looks like in practice
Letting go has three parts. First, notice where the feeling sits in your body and what the sensation is like. Second, allow it to be there and drop any judgement about having it. Third, stay with it and let it run its course. Thoughts arrive with the feeling, and they are the mind's explanations for it, so your attention stays on the sensation. The full method is set out step by step in How to let go: the Letting Go technique by Dr David Hawkins explained.
Where the meaning of letting go comes from
The explanation in this post draws on Dr David Hawkins' teaching and his book Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. He presents letting go as a natural ability everyone already has, and the book teaches how to use it in daily life. My guide to the book, Letting Go by Dr David Hawkins: how to actually do what the book describes, shows how to practise what it describes.
Frequently asked questions about letting go
What does letting go mean emotionally?
Emotionally, letting go means allowing a feeling to be fully present and giving up the effort to change it, until it runs its course.
What does letting go of the past mean?
Letting go of the past means allowing the feelings that come up with memories, such as grief, regret or shame, to run their course.
What does letting go of someone mean?
Letting go of someone means allowing the feelings attached to them, such as longing, hurt or anger, to run their course. The person's place in your life is a separate decision. My post on letting go when you love someone covers this in depth.
How do you know when you have let go?
Hawkins observes that when a feeling is fully surrendered, it drops out of awareness, so people often notice the change when friends or family point it out.
What is the difference between letting go and surrender in Hawkins' teaching?
Hawkins uses letting go, surrender and the mechanism of surrender interchangeably. All three describe the same practice of allowing a feeling to run its course.
Ready to learn how?
If you want to find out what letting go means in your own body, the clearest next step is to learn the technique with support. I teach you how to let go in the moment, as life happens. Read my answers to the most frequently asked questions.
If you're interested in working with me, check out my letting go coaching services.
If you're ready to talk about how letting go can benefit your life and explore working with me, book a discovery call today to begin the journey towards freedom.
